and you said cock pushups were impossible
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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