i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
