Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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