do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
