You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
