this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
God, I missed his penis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
