whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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