Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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