check it out our google latitudes are spooning
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize