the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
