she was so not down for the gang bang
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
