Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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