The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I didn't notice because vodka
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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