Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
