just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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