I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
