someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
