she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
