so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bring me that man meat
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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