That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
