if i died would you start the facebook group?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
