everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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