"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
