Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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