and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
