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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Did you see that girl I got with last night?

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.

  Fav 14 3032 760

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism

  Fav 28 4795 901

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  His pubic hair was longer than his dick

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He sprained his penis one time

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis

  Fav 21 869 2506

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

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• (61): View more from Australia

  When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"

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• (925): View more from California

  A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.

  Fav 6 543 1310

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