After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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