Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
