So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
