god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
