Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
