I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
