do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
