u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I need moral support for this bender
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
