thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
