I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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