I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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