best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
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