Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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