after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
