I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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