Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
