I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
