All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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