she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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