So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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