are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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