Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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