If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
