I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
