I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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