I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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