Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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