we have officially lost it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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