just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize