Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
