I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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