I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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